Love and Marriage

Today, I am sicker than a dog. It is a cold, rainy day. The house is cluttered and I feel to sick to do anything about it.
Today is also our 2nd anniversary. Though it's not an ideal day to celebrate, it's still worth doing so.

2 years ago, at almost this exact time, I was walking down the isle to the love of my life. As I reflect on that day, spent with close friends and family, my heart bursts with thankfulness to God who has given me a husband who I am so unworthy of. I do not deserve to be loved by someone who looks through my faults, who doesn't care what I look like in the mornings, who doesn't care when the house isn't clean. Likewise, I look through Stephen's faults, I laugh at his antics when others might be annoyed, I don't care that he leaves a mess where ever he goes. Stephen loves me for who I am and I love him for who he is.

This is a beautifully perfect example of Christ's love for us - hence marriage is an example of Christ's love for the church - His redeemed people.

Christ was the ultimate sacrifice for us - dying on the cross for our sins. Though not anywhere close to the extent of this, marriage is a picture of sacrifice. As wives, we sacrifice our lives to provide a loving home for our husbands, and when the time comes, our children. Husbands sacrifice their lives through a job to provide for the family. We strive to make small, sacrificial choices for each other to show our love.

This morning I was up early with a bad cold. Stephen was up with me making sure I was comfortable. He sacrificed almost half his lunch break to stop at the store and get me medicine. Before he left to go back to to work he made sure I had everything I needed. This is a perfect example of sacrificial love.

In the end, marriage is a testimony - a testimony of Christ's covenant love for His people.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer writes in Letters and Papers from Prison,

“Marriage is more than your love for each other. It has a higher dignity and power, for it is God's holy ordinance, through which He wills to perpetuate the human race till the end of time. In your love you see only your two selves in the world, but in marriage you are a link in the chain of the generations, which God causes to come and to pass away to His glory, and calls into His kingdom. In your love, you see only the heaven of your own happiness, but in marriage you are placed at a post of responsability towards the world and mankind. Your love is your own private possession, but marriage is more than something personal - it is a status, an office. Just as it is the crown, and not merely the will to rule, that makes the king, so it is marriage, and not merely your love for each other, that joins you together in the sight of God and man.” 

And, a few pages later says this:

“God makes your marriage indissoluble, and protects it from every danger that may threaten it from within and without; he will be the guarantor of its indissolubility. It is a blessed thing to know that no power on earth, no temptation, no human frailty can dissolve what God holds together; indeed, anyone who knows that may say confidently: What God has joined together, can no man put asunder. Free from all the anxiety that is always a characteristic of love, you can now say to each other with complete and confident assurance: We can never lose each other now; by the will of God we belong to each other till death.” 

I love Stephen. I know he loves me. I also know that without a doubt we will spend the rest of our lives together. 

I have no idea how long "the rest of our lives" is. It could be a day. It could be 50 years. No matter the length, I pray that our marriage will exalt Christ and all that He has done for us. I pray that through our marriage, unsaved friends and family will see Christ and enter into a saving relationship with Him. 

Here's to the rest of our lives, my love. :)

God Does Give Us More Than We Can Handle

"God never gives us more than we can handle."

This phrase is often used to comfort someone in their time of need. I've been guilty of using it myself. But, after a conversation with my sister-in-law this past weekend, I got me thinking, is this actually true?

The more I thought about it and read about it, I've come to the conclusion that this phrase is, without a doubt, false. Here's why.


Jon Bloom, an author for Desiring God Ministries, actually wrote a blog post on this earlier this year. He used the story, found in Judges 7, of Gideon. God told Gideon that he was going to fight an army of 100,000 men with an army of 300. Gideon can handle that, right? By the phrase's definition, this should be a piece of cake for Gideon thus, he feared nothing. On the contrary.

As any of us would (whether we would like to admit it or not), Gideon freaked out.  Basically that's 333 of the enemy to 1 of Gideon's men.

But, as we read on, God assures Gideon that this will work out. He reminded Gideon of the Red Sea and the wall of Jericho. It helped some, but later that night is Gideon was planning out the battle, he had his doubts, again. It seemed impossible, in fact, you might say, he couldn't handle it.

But, once again, God came to him. He assured Gideon, that his hands would be strengthened.

As it happened, God was right. Read the chapter to find out how. It's pretty cool. :)

In this story we see that Gideon could not have done this on his own. It was, literally, humanly impossible for the battle to be won. But, with God's mighty hand and power, it worked out.


Friends, this story shows us that God absolutely does gives us more than we can handle.

Parents are never prepared to lose a child. Children are never prepared to learn a parent has cancer. Couples are never prepared to find out they will never have children. A husband is never prepared to find he lost his job.

Even as believers, we can not handle any of this on our own. We are never prepared to handle anything that seems to mess with our lives.

But, God is. After all, in His sovereignty, He has ordained it to happen.

This is why, with His help, we can get through anything. When we place our unwavering trust in His all-powerful sovereignty, we can fight the battle. Romans 8:28 tells us all things will work out for the believers good.

There may be questions that go unanswered. Some doubts may creep back in, but Romans 8:31 tells us that "if God if for us, then who can be against us?" As one of my favorite hymns says, "when the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet." (This is My Father's World)

In the end, we come out victorious. We come out stronger. We come out relying on God more because only with His help, can we can get through it.


Finally, friend, remember this: God sent His only Son to die on the cross for ALL of our sins. If He can do this, He most surely can get you through anything you go through.



 (Link for Jon Bloom's post)
http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/why-god-gives-us-more-than-we-can-handle

God is Greater Than Our Struggle

Hello, friends! It's been well over a year since I last posted. And, quite a year it's been.

My husband got a new job. We moved into a house. Stephen was ordained.

There has also been some not so great things: loss of loved ones. Financial ups and downs. Loss of jobs, or jobs not gained. But, the one that has hit closest to my heart is cancer.


Last summer, my mother was diagnosed with cancer. In God's marvelous grace it wasn't too far along. She still had to have surgery and chemo, but it was not as bad as it could have been. It was still scary and difficult to see your own mom go through something so terrible as cancer. It was hard to see what it did to her physically: weakness, loss of hair. Spiritually, it was incredible. 
Her faith in Christ has been so evident in every step of the journey. She has been a testimony of God's grace for so many to see, including my dad. Though it is not evident he has accepted Christ, there's been small hints that he's been thinking through it which is a praise!

In a future post, I hope to go through this more and expound more on what I learned through this trial. 

For now,  I want to focus more on what all these trials have taught me.

In each of these difficulties, there has been one resounding theme that has been so hard to fully understand:

God is greater than the struggle.

What do I mean by this? 

In everything, sickness, money, death....God is greater. 
When it seems that these things take control of our lives, God is there and HE is greater. 

When everything is so overwhelming and falling apart, God IS greater. 

When it seems impossible for life to get better, God is GREATER. 

Psalm 9:9 says, 
" The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed,
    a stronghold in times of trouble."

When times are tough, God is there. As this verse says, He is our stronghold. When all else fails, he does NOT. 

Psalm 18 was written by David when the Lord rescued him for his enemies. At one of David's most fearful times, God delivers him. And, David praises him for this. This chapter is 50 verses, so instead of posting it all here, I'll share the first 3 verses. I urge you to go read the rest. 

I love you, O Lord, my strength.
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
    my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
    my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. 
 I call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised,
    and I am saved from my enemies.

Another example, from Scripture, is Paul. In 2 Corinthians 11, he talks about how he was beaten, stoned, shipwrecked, adrift at sea, in danger from his own people and enemies. He goes on about how he can not boast in himself, for he is weak. He can only boast in Christ. In chapter 12, he says this:

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

In times of trial, when we are weak, God is greater. He is strong. When we lean on His grace, we will be strong. 
Paul continues, 

" Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

God is greater than our struggles. Why? So we can lean on Him. So, we can see how great and how awesome He is. So, we can boast and proclaim this truth. 

God is greater than ANYTHING we are going through. He IS our stronghold. He is there when nothing else is. 

" Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." ~ James 1:12

When we realize God is greater, we will come out stronger. 

"Your grace abounds in deepest waters

Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and you won't start now..." ~ Oceans, by Hillsong.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1m_sWJQm2fs

(click on the link to hear the whole song)

"Count Your Blessings"

There's an old hymn that we sometimes sing at church: 

"Count your blessings, name them one by one,
Count your blessings, see what God hath done!
Count your blessings, name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord hath done."

There would be times where I would just say the words, not really thinking about their meaning. But, the circumstances that happened in the Kuehne household last week kept bringing this song to mind and made stop and think. 

Last Monday our sink stopped working. The water filled up in each sink and then leaked out from the U-curve below (it wasn't until the kitchen floor and rug were soaked that I realized what was happening.). And, of course Stephen was working until midnight and then 8am-4pm the next day. When we got hold of our landlord Tuesday night she said she would call a plumber the next morning...well, she tried, but couldn't get an answer until Thursday: the plumber couldn't come until 8:30am Saturday. Oh, joy! Almost a week with no sink, no cooking, and no dishes! 

On top of that, I found out Tuesday night that my job with H&R Block wasn't going to work out - the background check took too long to resolve (for those who don't know, the background check brought up my maiden name instead of Kuehne. It took 3 weeks to resolve, during which the whole time H&R assured me I would still have my job). This was a major letdown. Not only was I actually looking forward to working (getting out of the apartment), but we desperately needed the money. Stephen doesn't make that much and he hardly ever gets a 40hr work week. 

Through all this, you would think we have reasons to be annoyed and complain, right? I did. It wasn't until after we finally got the sink fixed that this song got stuck in my head and I realized how wrong I was to complain. Yes, no job and no sink were inconveniences, but at least Stephen has a job and we have family who helps out however they can! And, we had enough food to get us through the week, and my mom bought us paper plates and plastic cups as well as took our dirty dishes home and washed them for us! Talk about blessings! And, I started thinking, 5 days without a sink is really not all that long. Yes, it did seem like forever in the middle of it, but there are plenty of people who don't have sinks, or indoor plumbing, even. Many people on the other side of the world don't have this luxury. Hundreds of years ago none of the even existed! Can you imagine having to go outside to use the restroom? Or, carrying in buckets of water to do dishes, take a bath, and basically do anything that required water? 

There are so many, many things we take for granted that to a lot of people are luxuries. A place to live, cars, a job(s), fresh food, clothes that aren't tattered...the list goes on and on. And, we complain sooo much. We complain about being hungry when we have food in front of us. We complain about being cold when we have coats and heat to keep us warm. We complain about broken cars when, most of the time, God provides a way to fix them. We complain about having nothing to wear when we have drawers and closets stuffed with clothes. Why do we do this? Why is it so hard to realize that everything we have is a gift from God? (James 1) God does not have to give us anything...in fact, He has no reason to except that He loves us. Matthew 6 and Philippians 4 state this so clearly. 
So, how about instead of looking for reasons to complain, we look for reasons to "count our blessings"? I really do think you would be surprised and humbled at how much God does do for you! I know I am. 

My list of blessings:

1. A warm home.
2. A husband who puts Christ first, me second, him last.
3. A job for Stephen.
4. Too many clothes.
5. Cabinets filled with food.
6. Families willing to help out in whatever way they can.
7. A church family who encourages and prays for each other. and is always reaching out to help others.
8. This season of my life where I'm not working so I can enjoy every minute Stephen has off.
9. A Bible.
10. A car so Stephen can get to work.
11. Plumbing.
12. Friends who encourage and go out of their way to help out.
13. Books.
14. The ability to move.
15. Resources to help me in my walk with Christ.
16. The ability to pray.
17. The opportunities to worship God and hear His Word preached.
18. Opportunities to witness.  
19. A God who loves me so much in spite of my imperfections that He sent His only Son to die for those imperfections.
20. A Savior who obeyed His Father to die on a cross for my sins.
21. And eternity to worship my Father and Savior. 

 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,  yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. ~ Matthew 6: 25-34

A Small Collection of Helpful Quotes

 “There is no pit so deep, that God's love is not deeper still.” ~ Corrie Ten Boom

 “If God has shown us bad times ahead, it's enough for me that He knows about them. That's why He sometimes shows us things, you know - to tell us that this too is in His hands.”~ Corrie Ten Boom

“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength” ~ Charles Spurgeon


“Trials teach us what we are; they dig up the soil, and let us see what we are made of; they just turn up some of the ill weeds on to the surface.” ~ Charles Spurgeon

Some people feel guilty about their anxieties and regard them as a defect of their faith, but they are afflictions not sins. Like all afflictions, they are, if we can so take them, our share in the passion of Christ. ~ C.S. Lewis

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons that we could learn in no other way.”~ C.S. Lewis

“When we lose one blessing, another is often most unexpectedly given in its place.”~ C.S. Lewis

I Will Rejoice, I Will Declare, God is my Victory and He is Here...

It is quite amazing how excited you can be for something and within the space of just a few minutes your whole attitude changes. The past few weeks are a prime example.

Christmas was perfect. We spent a couple of days with Stephen's family and a couple with mine. We were able to see all our family (including my nieces and nephew!). And, then, just a few days following the holiday, we learned of the death of a fellow Boyce College student through a horrible car accident. A couple of days after that, I get a call for a job interview through H&R Block. The next day I find I have the job. Earlier this week we find out Stephen is working a lot less hours than normal next week. Yesterday, I hear that training for my job is this Saturday. Within the hour, I get another call saying that my background check didn't go through so I can't be hired (for now). 

With all these events it's hard to even think about getting excited for the good things because you feel that just as soon as  you get excited, something happens and everything goes dark. It's almost a curse to get joyful.

And then, you read passages like Philippians 4 (I know, I wrote on it just a month ago, but it's just SO good and So timely!) where it says to rejoice....always. All the time. Not just when you land a job or have a good Christmas. But also when a good friend dies or when you lose( or almost lose) a job. Rejoice that the friend was a believer and is now praising God an worshiping Him - at His feet - for all eternity! Rejoice that there is time to do some needed things like cleaning or spending time with God and reading Scripture.


And, I have to admit, usually my first thought in reading this passage is how ridiculous that statement sounds. I mean, rejoicing at losing a job? Why in the world would you rejoice in that? But, you know, God has a reason for everything. For EVERYTHING. Not just the good, but the bad as well. He NEVER gives you anything you can't handle. On top of all that, EVERY event God brings you, He will get you out. The pain is not going to last forever. God is God....He is bigger than any and every trial. If anything, that's something to rejoice about! In every circumstance there is a lesson. I was talking to my mother-in-law a little while ago and she said when you get older almost everything you went through - good or bad- you will look back on and think what a good time that was. Because, through every circumstance - as a true believer - you will learn to rely and trust in God more. Your relationship with Him will be strengthened. Your knowledge of Scripture will be better as you read and meditate on it. 

In the end, in every bad circumstance, it will be extremely difficult to see the good and rejoice in it. You may cry and wallow in your misery for a little while. And, that's okay. I certainly have the past few weeks. And, I most likely will again. But, as long as you remember that God is in your circumstance and He will carry you through it, that's okay.

To close, I want to share one of my favorite songs as well as some of my favorite Scripture passages. In another post, I will share some of my favorite quotes. I will also post them on my "Favorite Quotes" tab. (:

Desert Song by Hillsong United:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MCwKdai51o

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,  for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. ~ James 1: 2-4

1 Peter 1

 "This is what the past is for! Every experience God gives us, every person He puts in our lives is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see." ~ Corrie Ten Boom

Money, Contentment, and Provision

It has been exactly 11 months since I lasted posted. That's quite a while and so much has happened! I graduated college, got married, moved to Winchester, KY....and that's just the tip of the iceberg. I can't even begin to number the many lessons that have been learned, the laughs that have been laughed, the tears that have been shed...but, today I am going to share a lesson that I have been learning for most of this year.

Philippians 4 is one of my favorite chapters in Scripture. I could read it over and over and keep finding truths to learn and to apply to my life. One such lesson that seems to pop up a lot lately is that of contentment and provision. 

In this season of giving, contentment has to be one of the hardest things to overcome. We are constantly bombarded with things to by for either ourselves or for those that we know. A couple of examples: Stephen loves John Wayne...I have a desire to by anything I see related to him. My sister loves pandas. I also have a desire to by anything and everything with a panda. I'm pretty sure I could come up with a reason to buy just about everything for at least one person I know. 

I also have a love of Christmas decorations. Every time I go to Walmart, Target, or Cracker Barrel (oooohhhhh this is the worst of the bunch. They have just the cutest ornaments and figurines!)  I just want to buy every Christmas related thing I see. In fact, this past weekend, I'm pretty sure I spent waaaaay more than was in budget on Christmas things. If I did that every weekend of December, we'd be broke (or, at least more than we currently are...). 

Basically, when I see things for other people or trivial things for myself I can be easily convinced to buy it. But, when it comes to things we need, I worry and fret like nothing else.

Example: I am a huge Jimmy Stewart fan. Last year, I saw a collection of his movies. 6 for $20. Not bad. I couldn't afford it on my own though and I gave Stephen an unbelievably hard time about it (it's almost impossible for him to refuse me anything..). End in the end, I didn't get it. Then, last week I saw it again. And, again, I gave Stephen more of a hard time...and since we're married now, it didn't take much for him to give in and buy it for me. But, ever since buying it I have felt guilty...that could be $20 towards groceries or gas or bills. Things we worry about paying for all the time.

Why is this? For me, and most likely for just about everyone else, it stems through a contentment issue. If we would be satisfied with what we already have(content) there would be no temptation to buy things we don't need (Jimmy Stewart, John Wayne, pandas). Now, don't get me wrong. There's nothing bad in giving (it's a lot better than buying things for yourself), but it's sort of unreasonable to buy three gifts for someone if it's going to cause you to go broke. Especially if they would be perfectly fine with one gift.

And, along with contentment, if we realize that God is our ultimate provider and will never leave us hanging on things vital to life, all worry would disappear (remember Matthew 5 where Jesus talks about the sparrow and how He provides for the little birds and such will He provide for us, whom He loves more?) Philippians 4 covers the provision part really well:

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."..."And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen." - Philippians 4:4-7, 19-20. 

One of the key parts of this verse is the opening word: rejoice. For, if we are rejoicing how can we worry or be disgruntled about our lives? Even in the hard times we have so much to be thankful for. And, we know that God will ALWAYS provide for us! How can you not rejoice in that? Once we can do that, the rest is easy. Our hearts and minds will be settled. All worry is gone and we are content. 1 Timothy has more to say on that:

 "But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.  But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.  But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs." 1 Timothy 6:6-10

According to this, all we need is clothing and food. Anything more is folly. Woah. Wait...you mean the jewelery and makeup we wear, the books we read, the movies we watch....we don't need any of that? Nope. You know why? Because, the more you want, the more you turn money and things into idols....which can cause anyone to wander from the truth. Even  theology books or documentaries of sorts can be turned into idols. If we entered into this world with nothing and leave the world with nothing, why do we want anything in the world?

All we should ever desire is a more perfect relationship with our Savior and to be more like Him in all things. Because, in the end, that is what is important. A true belief in our Savior is what will get us into heaven where all the true riches are. 


“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal,  but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-20